The Power of Setting Intentions: A Path to a More Authentic Life

"Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we're supposed to be and embracing who we are." — Brené Brown

It’s easy to assume our decisions are intentional and authentic. Then we notice a misalignment, a nagging feeling, and we start questioning what we took for granted.

Last week, I had one of those moments.

I went to the photographer to get a picture for my applications. A standard task, something simple. But when I received the final image, I felt a strange sense of discomfort.

There was nothing objectively wrong with the picture. It was sleek, friendly, professional. And yet, something felt off. At first, I thought it was something superficial. Maybe I didn’t like my hair, or maybe the business-like formality didn’t quite suit me. But as I sat with the feeling, I realized the problem wasn’t the picture. It was the way I had made the decision in the first place, without clarity, without intention.

The Psychology of Default Choices

This frustration wasn’t a one-time thing. It was a pattern, one I had repeated in many areas of my life without noticing.

Saying yes to things that didn’t fully resonate simply because they seemed like the right choice. Adapting to environments without questioning whether I actually wanted to be there. Following invisible rules about how things “should” be done, even when they conflicted with my instincts. Repeating habits simply because they were familiar.

Psychologists call this status quo bias—our brain’s tendency to stick to the familiar, even if it doesn’t serve us. We default to expectations, social norms, and safe choices because they require less cognitive effort than actively questioning them.

So, like a responsible adult, I did the standard thing. I went to a professional photographer, put on a black top (because, apparently, I thought that’s the universal color of competence), and tried to look both trustworthy and exciting without breaking any unspoken CV-photo laws.

The cost? Every unconscious choice reinforces a version of ourselves that isn’t fully us. Sometimes, we are just reacting instead of consciously choosing.

The Hidden Cost of Not Setting Intentions

Like many people, I defaulted to the safe choice—nothing too bold, nothing that stood out too much. It seemed practical at the time. But when I looked at the final picture, I kept tilting my head, squinting at my own smiling face like an art critic trying to decipher a questionable masterpiece. The verdict? This didn’t feel like me.

Why was this small thing bothering me so much?
Because, to me, it wasn’t small.

It was a reminder of something bigger: I had acted without clarity, without presence. I had chosen the easy option, even though that’s not what I truly wanted anymore.

I didn’t just want a CV picture. I wanted something artistic.
I didn’t just want to look professional. I wanted to look like myself.

Yet there I was, walking into that studio, playing by unspoken rules I didn’t believe in—dressing the part, toning things down, trying to look like the kind of person who sends highly polished emails at 7 AM. Meanwhile, in every other part of my life, I was embracing creativity, self-expression, and risk-taking.

The contradiction was glaring. This picture wasn’t just a headshot, it was a tiny act of self-betrayal. And if I was doing this here, where else in my life was I following expectations instead of my own truth?

What is Intentionality?

That was the real issue. It wasn’t about the photo, it was about the way I was making choices. I wasn’t consciously deciding how I wanted to show up. I was defaulting. And this had everything to do with intentionality.

Intentionality is the practice of acting with deliberate awareness and purpose rather than out of habit, expectation, or social conditioning. It means making choices consciously, ensuring that your actions align with your values, goals, and authentic desires rather than simply reacting to external circumstances.

At its core, intentionality is about living by design rather than by default. Instead of drifting through life on autopilot, making decisions based on convenience or pressure, intentionality invites you to pause, reflect, and choose with clarity. It’s about owning your choices and shaping your life instead of letting circumstances dictate it.

After my photoshoot fail, I decided to lean into more intentional decision-making. I’ve realized that I feel more fulfilled, confident, and in control of my life. It turned out to be a mindset shift, helping me see small, everyday choices as building blocks for a more meaningful life.

This shift in thinking wasn’t just a personal revelation. Science actually backs it up. Intentions activate the Reticular Activating System (RAS), the part of the brain that filters information and determines what we notice. When you decide to buy a specific car model, you suddenly start seeing it everywhere. The same applies to opportunities. When we set a clear intention, we begin noticing possibilities we might have otherwise ignored. Studies also show that setting an intention increases self-efficacy, the belief that we have control over our own lives. And that’s exactly what I was experiencing.

How Can You Apply This in Real Life?

If you want to bring more intentionality into your life, start with self-awareness. The next time you’re faced with a choice, big or small, pause and ask yourself:

• Does this align with my long-term vision?
• Will this bring me fulfillment or just external validation?
• Am I choosing this because I truly want it, or because I think I "should"?

These questions act as a pause button, interrupting autopilot mode and bringing you back into conscious awareness.

If I had asked myself these questions before my photoshoot, I would have seen that I was choosing what was expected rather than what felt true. The real me would have gone for something livelier—something that actually reflected who I am. And I wouldn’t have been stuck staring at that picture in confusion.

Living intentionally takes practice. At first, questioning your choices may feel unfamiliar, even uncomfortable. But over time, it becomes second nature. You’ll start noticing when something feels out of alignment, and you’ll gain the confidence to make choices that truly reflect you. It’s a process, like waves rolling in and out, but with time, it gets easier.

If you’re looking for a guide to discovering your own values, check out this article.

Are You Living on Autopilot or by Design?

Most people don’t wake up one day and decide to live an unintentional life. It happens in small, subtle ways—one default decision at a time. Especially when life gets busy, when there’s always something to do, when there’s no time to sit down and decipher one’s own feelings and intentions.

Living with intention doesn’t always make life easier. But it makes it feel freer, more aligned, and ultimately, more fulfilling.

What if you started each day by choosing how you want to show up? What if you made choices based on what energizes you rather than what feels safe or expected?

You have more control than you think. The real danger isn’t making the wrong choice, it’s failing to realize you’re making a choice at all. Because when we don’t set intentions, someone else will set them for us.

Have you ever looked back at a decision and realized you weren’t truly the one making it? How do you bring more intentionality into your life? Let’s start a conversation, drop a comment below!

And thanks for reading 🩵